Hold more moments close to you.
Inertia — Nº156
As the natural flurries of life move us through our years, I try to savour the memories of my old life to ensure they don’t slip by unnoticed or underappreciated. For that reason, I enjoy those online threads discoursing advice to people in their younger years. Because every so often, I think about what I would tell my younger self — so I can start them right now.
I would say don’t let anything steal the sparkle from your eyes; growing up doesn’t mean losing your wonder. Don’t dull your feelings; learn to understand them. I grew up encountering a raft of situations that brought out so many emotions: relationships, problems at home, seclusion, and loneliness. It taught me a lot, but prolonged exposure to it all weighed heavy on me and made emotions feel dangerous and overwhelming. So, I would default to avoidance, anxiety, and stowing emotions at a distance until I felt safe again.
Writing became a passage to processing them. Now, I believe the only way to be comfortable with most things is to embrace them — talk about them, write, rage, cry. Avoiding them makes them last. Run away, and they chase us. All it does is remove our ability to be present.
I would tell myself, don’t let work suppress your friendships. Life gets busier as the years accumulate, so it becomes more important to be the friend you’d love to have. Hoard the good relationships, or you’ll spend your life constantly looking back and wishing the time you have away.
Ask too many questions. If you don’t ask because you’re scared of sounding like a dummy, then you’re already one. Would you rather let your ego keep you stuck or shorten your journey through the land of trial and error?
Move on from miserable people who only complain and blame instead of being proactive in solving their problems. You might think you can help, and you might feel good about it, but once you see how far it’s pulling you down, you’ll think otherwise.
And purposely put your feet up more than you are. I don’t mean to continue numbing your brain with your phone and procrastinating; I mean pausing all the digital noise and being present in the best moments happening around you—nature’s song, friend’s laughter, the intensity of your current book.
Meaningful moments are there to be cherished, and all the above will help you get there. Life is not promised, so we must carry the light forward. That light will be a beacon, attracting more positive energy and empowering people around us with the warmth of our genuine smile and encouraging words.
Ever since I found out I was the little kid who brought life to a room and the people in it, I’ve wanted to be better at it. It was a perfect starting block because it made me happy to ask about people’s lives and bring out what’s troubling them, to write in public and meet people who thought like me, to be friends with people I genuinely wanted to praise to everyone, and to share a quick smile with strangers because you know how much you’ll remember it.
Without this, life will keep racing by at a breathless pace if you let it. We all have the power to pause, to be utterly present, and to enshrine the extraordinary instants in time. The past is a guide for a tomorrow that may never come, so hold all those moments very close to you that make your life worth cherishing.