To enjoy being alive
Inertia — 211
I’m currently residing in Wales, sitting beneath the threshold of my next birthday. I love using these moments to look forward and back—a moment suspended between what was and what I will work hard to build. The calendar turned quietly as I persisted. And here I am today, in a daze, staring at the lessons of my twenties as if they lay scattered along the wooden floor.
Looking forward, it’s about letting go. Letting go of the voices that aren’t mine. Of reaching for approval that leaves me just tired and hungry. I’d rather look inward, tending to the compass that has always been subtly pulling me along. Here are the lessons.
1. The mirror that matters most is your own.
We spend too many hours worrying about the reflections in other people’s eyes—bending into aesthetically-pleasing shapes to satisfy their gaze. But all opinions that once mattered eventually drift away like leaves on water. And the only gaze that follows you every day is your own. Make peace with it. Smile at it. Happiness starts there.
2. Joy doesn't ask for permission.
It sounds ridiculous to imagine asking someone if we’re allowed to be happy, right? And yet, most people do it without saying a thing.
I’ve swalled my excitement a lot. Too many times. Afraid that this enthusiasm may look stupid. I’ve walked past different doors in life marked “Try me” because I didn’t want to stand there and deal with what my mind was making up. But I’m reminding myself that all the joy is in the scrappy first attempts and the build-up of courage to be wonderfully rubbish at something new. Besides, the clock doesn’t pause while you gather your nerve.
3. Your unspoken truths will drown you.
The heaviest words are those we carry unspoken. We hold hundreds of conversations in our head that never reach the tongue, letting resentments build out of silence like limescale through a drain. People cannot hear what you don’t say. And speaking up is one of the best, simplest pieces of advice anyone can give you. If you have needs, hurts, or wants—speak them. The right people will listen, and you’ll realise that.
4. Plant your garden where you are.
You can gaze at the horizon, sure, but happiness is where you stand. Life happens where you are and not where you wish to be. Because in a world of abundance, we’ll always want more. And with that, you’ll be waiting forever for your life to start.
Appreciate the soil beneath your feet and don’t leave it untended. Plant the right seeds such as kindness and patience, build on those qualities, and watch your life grow.
5. Save your apologies for when they matter.
It’s a bit of a British thing to apologise every twenty seconds. But it’s too much to do so for merely taking up some space, having needs, for being human and encountering things beyond your control and beneath your notice. True remorse is precious. There’s no need to apologise for your right to exist as you wish.
6. Let love be ordinary.
We grow up with heads turned towards cinematic love, and I’ve chased this—relatively grand gestures and trying to perfect everything. But love is in the mundane of remembered preferences, showing up, and quietly understanding someone when their energy changes even slightly. It’s choosing someone again and again. Very ordinary magic, performed daily.
6. Your work is not your worth.
The next time you get frustrated at work, remind yourself that your value doesn’t rise or fall with your productivity. You are not the sum of your achievements or failures. And you are not your title or salary. It is just what one of the things you do. Most importantly, you are a human being. Entitled to rest, joy, and purpose beyond what you produce. Your worth was settled at birth, and if you were worth something them, you are worth something now.
8. Fear and courage are roommates.
I’ve waited a long time to feel brave before, not understanding that courage walks beside fear—acknowledged but not in charge. Fear will always have something to say, so you can thank it for its concern, and then do what matters to you anyway.
9. Time is speaking to you. Listen.
If you’re going to listen to anyone, listen to time. How you spend your days is how you spend your life. It’s not that nuanced. When you give time to people and pursuits that drain you, you’re trading the only currency that matters for things of lesser value. Why?
What receives your attention reveals what you prioritise or even worship. So are you learning to listen to where your time wants to go?
10. You are allowed to change your mind.
And do it fast. The opinions, dreams, and beliefs you held before are not prison sentences. Growth means allowing new information to shape old conclusions. There is no obligation to maintain consistency at the cost of truth. You can say “I was wrong” or “I’ve changed my mind” without shame. But many people stagnate all their life simply because they shackle themselves to their views.
So I make one wish, which is to live this year as though life is in full swing and I am enough. Because I am. Because you are. Because we all are.